making progress

song+ Hotel Lobby- Hikaru Utada- Exodus
book+ nothing currently
scent+ dust. lots of dust
quest+ getting everything packed up
upper+i've made visible progress~
downer+ not done yet
attire+ junk clothes for cleaning
drink+ dr pepper

so today i got a lot more junk thrown out, and i packed my Square Arts action figures and Women of the DC Universe statues. xD that doesn't sound like much, but it really is, it took 3 boxes, each holding somewhere around 10-14 figures.. xD tomorrow i should be ready to pack up the bookshelf with my manga and trades on it! i put it off since i wanted all my books together and i knew there were still several scattered in with other things, i think i've found most of them though, so it'll make kyu happy to see one more obvious thing done tomorrow. he worked on the office today, i dunno how much he got done, but i'm sure it's a good amount.

it really does look like we can manage to have all our stuff ready to go by Saturday. kyu's optimistically thinking that if people help, we can get through dad's stuff too, and give the apartment a final cleaning Sunday. having lived with dad for years, and moved with him several times, that's just not possible. even if all our stuff is 100% done saturday and there's as many as 5 of us going through dad's crap, there's so much of it, it can't be done in a weekend. hell, last time we moved it took us at least 3 days of straight up cleaning to get the place half-decent, and that was with dad helping! he somehow takes the word "slob" to a whole new level.


i've made some cute doll stuff lately, but i packed it in one of the first boxes, so it won't be shown off for a while. xD i did the mature thing and packed the things most likely to distract me first.. except for the computer. xD the dolls are chillin', ready to have their own dedicated space in the new place. i'm looking forward to that too. now they live either on my side of the bed or in my computer chair, where ever i'm not. xD not the best solution, really. xD

update, yo

song+Way Back Into Love (the Drew Barrymore movie Music and Lyrics)
book+Superman/Batman: Supergirl
scent+ dust. lots of dust
quest+ getting everything packed up
upper+my payment is confirmed!
downer+ there's so much junk here.. X.x
attire+ junk clothes for cleaning
drink+ dr pepper

so kyu and i are in the packing and cleaning process currently. we're hoping to have all our stuff ready to move by this saturday. we know going through all dad's stuff will take far longer. we made good progress on our room this weekend though. i'm almost to the point where i can pack up my eightybajillion statues and action figures. xD

i got my payment confirmed e-mail this weekend, which means i now have five to ten weeks to wait until my normal skin Delphine fullset (with two pairs of alternate shoes instead of the boots she's shown with) ships out. i can't wait to get her, she's just so beautiful!

but yeah, thinking saturday for our big moving day, i'll let ya'll know for sure closer to then, in case we need help. xD

assorted rambling

song+ Little Miss Obsessive- Ashlee Simpson- Bittersweet World
book+ October Previews
scent+ strawberry toaster strudel
quest+ getting everything packed up
upper+i'm paying for Delphine tomorrow
downer+ i'm utterly broke for the next while
attire+ brown summer pajamas
drink+ milk

our lease for the new place is ready to be signed. kyu and i are gonna go by on our lunch break tomorrow to sign it and pick up our key. tonight we're gonna work on getting our office packed, tomorrow and over the weekend we're gonna work on our room. then we'll get to the hard things: all of dad's crap. X.x

hopefully by next weekend we'll be ready to sleep at the new place, as it's much closer to work. then we could just go to the old place to pack and clean every day, but go home to something better. we still need to look into cable and internet providers, then decide on one and get it set up. xD i know we'll be able to afford it, it's part of why we chose this place over the slightly nicer one we were also looking into. i'd rather not be cut off from everything for a month while we wait for things to be worked out, being internet-less sucks.

tomorrow Wolfie is taking care of the stuff that needs to be done to get the car street legal again. namely the tags and registration, i think. tomorrow i'll pay for my Delphine order. i'm so happy i'll be getting her! i've already talked to Jenni, and Delphine will ship to her house and not our place. this is because any package worth this much needs to be signed for. we don't really know the management of our new place yet, and if they'd be willing to sign at all. Jenni also lives close enough to the post office that if for some reason no one is home to sign, it's not a half-hour trip to pick the package up. also i trust her. xD that's not an afterthought, i figured it'd be obvious enough on it's own..

i'm going crazy trying to figure out how i wanna lay out the new place. i haven't seen the upstairs part of our floorplan, so i have no idea where to even start. i figure i know what'll go downstairs, but i can't be sure until i know what'll fit upstairs. fo those who don't know, we got a one-bedroom two-floor apartment. living room/kitchen downstairs, bedroom/potty and i dunno what else upstairs. xD knowing would help me freak out a little less in my obsessive planning. i know it's not all up to me, as i won't be living there alone, but it's easier to get kyu to voice his opinion when i can give him options and say "which of these do you like more? okay, what do you want to change about it?" he hates not being asked, but getting him to offer an opinion is like pulling teeth.

in the new place we're gonna work more to get Harley trained (since there won't be anyone un-training her while we're gone during the day) so we can keep it cleaner. we might also employ the use of a baby gate to keep her downstairs, we have yet to decide on that one.

in things unrelated to anything else (well, tangentially related to doll stuff, but ya'll know what i mean) it's been really nice having Roro home again. it's good to know that if i wanna talk, i can, if i wanna visit, i can. this is dependent on previous commitments, but far better than being in different timezones limited by job schedules and the prohibitive cost of plane tickets. X.x i know you miss your other friends, Roro, but i'm here for you. i promise.

in attempting to be a responsible adult, i've got my checks pretty much budgeted all the way through christmas. X.x there's a small margin allowing for spurts of OLS, but most of my spending is planned out. x amount going to rent, y to savings, etc. it should make things easier for the first few months in the new place, and keep things easier for a while thereafter. in the same attempt at grownuptitude (which should totally be a word) i'm working on clearing out some of my accumulated crap. i get severe pack-rattiness from both mom and dad, and i've been working on controlling it, but i slipped up for a while and now have a lot of stuff. like, more than will likely fit in the new place with us. some i'm definitely keeping, but i'm gonna ruthlessly weed out the stuff that i don't honestly care about anymore but still have. it's scary to think about, but i'm sure it'll make things better for both me and kyu. i think he's gonna get rid of some of his stuff too, but since he has less in the first place, it'll be easier for him. xD

i can't wait till i have time and space to work on stuff for the dolls again. it'll be nice to be able to reach my sewing machine without having to push past all my other stuff.

Delphine is a Wonderous Thing

song+ All the Love In the World- the Corrs- In Blue
book+ nothing currently
scent+ dr pepper and ranch dip
quest+ finding a way to get Delphine
upper+ she's so gorgeous!!
downer+ i won't know if i can afford her for several days
attire+ minimalist pajamas
drink+ dr pepper

i fell in love today.

seriously, i found the most beautifully gorgeous doll today and i want her so much. it's more like a need, she's all i've thought about for the last several hours.

she's a limited edition. only available for ordering until 12a.m , Sept. 30 (Korean time) and she comes with this amazing outfit, in three skintones. the grey pictured, a white as pale as paper, and the pinkish tone the regular dolls come in.

all the official images are of the grey, so i did this photo manipulation to give a general idea of how the normal skin might look. it's still on the grey side, but you get the general idea, i think. if it turns out that i can order her, i'm going for the normal tone. i hope her makeup is still the silvery tone shown on her eyes, and i love the pale pink blushing. also, i'm not positive, but the lips look vaguely brownish on the grey skin, which i think is lovely. i waaaaaant! *whines*

she's an elven vampire, which is normally so not my thing, but look! not oddly creepy with foot-long ears or super obvious fangs. everything about her just seems so perfect to me. i'm lovestruck, for serious. X.x

i don't even know what i'd call her, or anything about how she'd act, because i don't want to get my hopes up too high in case things don't work out. i don't know what i'll do though if things don't work out. X.x

she's just soo gorgeous! i love her face and her perfectly manicured hands. her dress though, that's the best part by far. it's amazing. this dress is freakin epic. how could i not love this dress?

avoidance, hurrah!

song+ All That I Am- Rob Thomas- Something To Be
book+ nothing currently
scent+ dusty comics?
quest+ getting apartment forms filled out and turned in
upper+ the bunny on my desk has people-legs sticking out of his mouth and that makes me smile
downer+ i should think that was rather apparent
attire+ dark wash jeans, tinkerbell tee, sneakers
drink+ dr pepper

so i know i've been slacking lately, but i think it's kinda understandable. to quote something i said to Roro a week or two ago, to deal with stress i do a combo of mood eating, internalizing into tummy issues, avoidance, and lashing out at people who don't deserve it. that's totally healthy, right? xD i'm not gonna post about dad's stroke here, because at this point everyone has either posted about it or read about it elsewhere.

speaking of Roro, it's great having all of us together again, even if it's only been a day and the novelty hasn't worn off yet. xD i look forward to being able to see everyone under cheerier circumstances soon. we haven't filled out or turned in the applications for the new apartment yet, but even so, kyu and i are tentatively planning on being moved by my birthday. it should be rather obvious we plan on keeping the new place considerably cleaner, so i look forward to having everyone over. i've been really (understandably) tired lately and i'm taking tomorrow (friday) off PTO, but with the move approaching i was thinking of holding off on that till i knew exactly what was going on. after i fell asleep during lunch and nearly ended up with my face in my macaroni, i decided that i needed a day off for sure..

i tend to take the friday of Wizard World off too, so i try to think about the vacation time i have in total while i schedule this stuff. i'm going to WWTx again this year, but i dunno if i'll go friday or if i'll just limit myself to saturday and sunday. i know what costumes i'd like to have done, but i dunno if i can afford them, so i may just work on improving the ones i've already done. fixing the things i ran out of time on. there's also two costumes i got the stuff for last year so Moose could dress up, but i abandoned them when i discovered she wouldn't be able to go after all. i can finish those this year for whenever she can wear them, and i can feel awesome and stuff. xD

i realized i've been using my ipod pretty heavily for music therapy this week. usually i charge it once or twice a month, since i listen a little on tuesday and wednesday, but not much beyond that. this week i've had to charge it twice, and my phone an extra time too. xD i know for other people charging a phone more than once a week is normal, but i use it for its calculator feature more than i call people. xD i've never been a phone-friendly person.

this weekend should be fun though, there's a tentative plan to have James and Naku over friday to visit with Roro. i dunno what we're gonna do, but there's a good chance we'll eat the frozen lasagna in the freezer. maybe mess with some Sims2 stuff, but that's more a solitary thing than something for three people to be messing with.. especially since mine's abnormally laggy. xD i need to clean up my computer and get rid of space-wasting files i never use. i'm thinking of clearing out some of the useless crap that came pre-installed on my computer. like, i never use the microsoft office suite, but it's there, and doesn't need to be. there's other stuff that i don't even know what it is, and a lot of that can probably go. i'd like it if my machine ran at a decent speed and didn't glitch the crap out of Sims graphics, which are not fancy at all. X.x i don't think i'm asking too much.

but yeah, i did all the stuff i absolutely had to have done by friday today, so tomorrow i can sleep in and try to finally feel remotely human again. it'll also give me time to finally finish all the things i've fallen behind on and meant to do.. like fixing Larxene's faceup. that's been dependant on buying the proper sealant. the brand i bought apparently has a reputation for eating DoD resin, which would be absolutely horrendous since she cost me so much and i love her face. X.x from now on i'll finish my research before i spend any money (which is usually my policy, but this one time i got impatient). i know we sell an appropriate (and highly regarded) matte sealant in the store, so i'll get some this weekend. i already have watercolour pencils, soft-bristle brushes, and pastels for doing the actual faceup. it's gonna be a lot of fun, i think. i'm not gonna do any seam-sanding or body blushing yet. i'll get to all that when i'm doing it for my Xavin. realistically i won't have her ordered by Christmas like i'd hoped for, but at the latest, this spring. if i can't get anything saved up, i'll use my tax refund for her. it's what we did for the others, i just want her sooner, and i was trying to avoid Korea's summer monsoon season as it adds to wait times considerably. i learned that the hard way last time. xD when i'm done with Larxene though, i'll post before and after pics.

on a note unrelated to anything else here (cause that's how i roll) i think i've done more filing in this week than at any other point in the entirety of my employment. X.x i've filed about 2 months of paperwork in the past 3 days, and they were a busy 2 months too. ugh. i don't usually mind, but this week was redonk. like almost repetitive-motion-injury amounts of paperwork. *dies a little*

yeah, that's right! i'm awesome! also doll photos.

song+ Thank You For The Music- Mamma Mia
book+ september previews
scent+ milk and salad? xD
quest+ saving money for apartment costs and doll stuff
upper+ i have a costume commision in the works
downer+ we still have to deal with dad for a while
attire+ pinstriped pajama pants and a black undershirt
drink+ milk

Your result for The Commonly Confused Words Test...

English Genius

You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 93% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!

Roro had this quiz on her blog, and i love these things, so i did it too. i love being told how smart i am. xD anyhow, on to the doll photos! these were all taken without Bea's wig on since it kept getting caught in the velcro and such. enjoy the baldness! xD also, i'm working on re-doing Larxene's lips. i'll show them off when i'm done so everyone can let me know what they think.

supercute outfit, but the hat's a little large. xD

supercute skort! also the boots on this outfit really fit her, which is amazing to me!

this shirt totally makes her look pregnant. the skirt is cute, but she doesn't have anything that matches it.

this one looks infinitely better without the overshirt, which is yards too loose on her. i love this skirt, but kyu said it looked kinda dumpy..

Vivi wears these pants. he loves them. the sweater makes her look chunky though, she prefers the shirt without it.

Bea loves these pants! the tops that came with them, not so much. X.x also, she says the hat looks kinda like a Rastafarian Poodle (kyu thinks it resembles a motorcycle helmet covered in fluffy wool). the second image is to show how much better the pants look when they're not bunching funny under a too-tight top.

pajama love! these are just amazingly comfy.

cute guitar purse, but the dress needs a fitting, it comes close to exposing her. xD Larxene can wear it as a supercute skirt though with a tee shirt.

this dress is cute, but it needs to be taken in at the torso. Bea loves the necklace that came with it though, she hasn't taken the pearls off in months.

this is a cute dress that fits pretty well on it's own. yay for that! it also came with this cute bracelet and a hairclip she wears all the time. xD

this dress looked really cute on the doll it's meant for. it looks remarkably hookerish on Bea. like it seriously barely covers her thigh joint at all. it flashed the joint while posing her. X.x

this dress is awesome! there's a slit in the back for mobility. also the shoes that came with all four of these prom-looking dresses fit, so that gives lots more options when getting dressed.

apair of short-alls that i bought while ordering some shirts from F2bM for Roro. check out that sideboob. xD she'll wear a shirt under this normally, but i was tired at this point.

something.. in three parts. xD

song+ Something's Coming- West Side Story
book+ re-reading whatever looks good
scent+ gummi bears
quest+ getting a new apartment
upper+ i have two awesome games i'm switching between
downer+ i hate feeling off
attire+ sneakers, jeans, my camo c*o*l*t*s tee
drink+ water

this is a little in response to roro's late night musings on the self, but i was gonna get around to saying something like this before too long anyhow.

for a few months now, things have been off for me. it's hard to explain precicely what i mean, but it's a lot of littler things. i'm sore all the time, my bones and muscles are all achey. my back stores up tension like a spring, and every few days i can get it to pop and release a bit, but it'll collect it again. i'll get roaring headaches out of nowhere, and my tummy acid will act up for no reason. getting four hours of sleep feels the same as getting fourteen, i'm still way too tired all the time. i'm not sick though. i can tell the difference, especially since moose is feeling a lot of this too.

something's coming, something big. it could be good or bad, i'm not sure what it is, or when it'll arrive. i do know that whatever's gonna happen will affect pretty much everyone i know, and likely several people i don't. this, whatever it is, has been building for a long time now, and when it gets here, several of us will likely say something along the lines of "oh, this is what i was waiting for.." even if not everyone knows they're waiting.

it's getting close enough to make me itchy, and i'm frustrated that i can't seem to figure it out yet. i hate feeling surprised, like i missed a clue somewhere. i want to know without a doubt so i can be entirely prepared. i like knowing i can handle whatever is coming, and i dunno that i can, and that's bad for me.



in things unlelated to what likely reads as something rather like paranoia, kyu and i are gonna try to take a tour of our (hopefully) future apartment this saturday. if things go well we'll see about what exactly it'll take to get the place. we're both pretty young with not much rental history (if any at all, really) but i'm pretty sure lola will give us a good recommendation if we need one. we're both far better with money than dad, we realize the importance of paying bills before buying fun things, and we've budgeted extensively to ensure we're not getting in over our heads. we budgeted as though one of us would be footing all the bills on our own to ensure we could make it in a worst-case one of us loses their job type scenario, and while it'd be hard, it's possible.

at this point, i just want to make sure the new place feels right for both of us. my ideal apartment is one floor (i'm not too picky about 1st floor vs 2nd), two rooms. one for sleeping, one for art stuff. i want it big enough that my stuff doesn't crowd me, but small enough that we can heat and cool the place without spending redonk wads of cash. i'd like to be a little closer to work, so we could ride our bikes on good weather days (once kyu replaces his). we're leaning towards the Woodland something-or-other, off bowen. it's really close to our bank, and a post office. there's three close grocery stores, and it's close to the rec center if we ever decide to join and get back in shape. it's also priced reasonably enough that we could probably swing cable and internet. being able to tivo/dvr/whatever things on tv would save the frustration of wanting to strangle kyu for watching his wrestling stuff. X.x

if that place turns out to be completely impossible, our back up place is where several work friends live, so we know it's affordable. it's a bills paid place on the fringes of the UTA campus. it's not quite what i'd like, as i'm apparently a little snobby, but it's perfectly livable. i could be happy there, but i see myself far happier in our first choice, even if i'd be a little poorer.



the part of this that corresponds to roro's thoughts is this:

i also sometimes feel like i'm flailing, directionless. i know i'm moving forward, but because i do know what i want, and i can see how far i am, i get depressed. i'm not an excessively social person, but i've been making an effort to get out and spend more time with people i'm not related to. i like solitude and aloney-ness, not just the quiet thinky time, but knowing if i called out no one would be able to answer. in some ways i find that comforting. it doesn't make much sense, but that's me all over. xD i'm not afraid of being alone, of living alone.. i'm afraid of almost everything else, and for me the only way to get through any day, is to push on and try to deny my fear at all. i'm afraid to learn to drive, but i'm also afraid of being so dependant on other people. i'm afraid of what dad will do if we leave him alone, but i'm more afraid of what i'll do if i have to stay with him much longer. i was afraid when i moved out from mom's place, but i was more afraid of what would happen between us if i stayed. most of my life decisions have been based on which choice scares me more, and when i look at where i am vs where i know i'm capable of being, i feel like i'm faltering. like i'll maybe never get there. the worst part, i think is that while i know what i want, i have no way of knowing if it's the right thing to want. what if i chose the wrong thing and i won't know until it's too late to head in another direction?

ha, go figure, late-night isn't the only time to think deep, depressing thoughts. xD *loffles to roro for being so freakin awesometastic all the time*