song+ Hello- Maroon5- Live Friday the 13th
book+ Beastly/ A Kiss In Time
quest+ finishing the dress that is infuriating me
upper+ my machine is purchased and i'm beading the Annoying Dress
downer+ there's plenty beading left to go, and a few mistakes to cover with it
attire+ pajamas (yay lazy clothes)
drink+ milk
i seem to be returning to a semblance of normalcy. my sugar cravings have (finally!) dwindled to a negligible level. i bought a package of cookies yesterday morning only to realize i didn't want to eat them, they're now in the kitchen waiting to be shared. xD my sleep pattern has also reset to something approaching human, for the third night in a row i went to bed in the evening and woke in the morning. it shouldn't be such a strange thing, but it seems revolutionary after the reverse for a month and some. xD
last night i made real progress on the current mystery project, aka Annoying Dress. the one i started a few weeks ago and still have yet to finish. i think i may have mentioned that i realized the fabric i'd chosen ended up being entirely wrong. it's too thick to lay as flat as i need it to, and too heavy to drape in the elegant way i planned for it, so i'm finishing it another way and i'll start Version Two (in new fabric i bought specifically for having the correct weight and thickness) when this one passes for something that doesn't make me want to hurl it across the room in frustration. hopefully that'll be later today. xD the construction is done so now i'm beading for embellishment, and to hide the spots where i screwed up. at least i learned from the mistakes though, so version two should go much more smoothly.
it's entirely possible i'm being too picky with Annoying Dress though, i took it with me to the tattoo shop last night (i was hanging out with Wolfie while Kyu was adding color to one of his tattoos) and multiple strangers identified the dress as about what i'd initially planned for it to be, expressed that it looked rather nice, and asked questions about my business selling them that made it seem much less crazy an endeavor. i know it's strange, but reassurance from strangers feels more genuine than the same from family.. awful, but true. strangers have no pressure to support or appreciate my efforts so anything they say feels more genuine somehow.
in other talk, i placed the order for my PukiFee Shiwoo (the one that'll be my little french kitty) last night. i'm still waiting for FairyLand to e-mail me the invoice so i can pay it, but i'm pretty excited about her, she'll be adorable and the work that'll go into making her just right won't bother me the slightest bit. i like project!dolls, they frequently end up meaning more.
anyhow, it's back to the studio to get some work done. the sooner i finish Annoying Dress, the sooner i can open up the machine and get started on Version Two. when they're both done i'll put up pictures so they can be compared.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
State of the Neko address: week 49
song+ Stutter- Maroon5- Hands All Over
book+ nothing presently
quest+ finishing this dress that is infuriating me
upper+ the depression i felt coming on has abated again
downer+ stupid Iple boobs are killing me! X.x
attire+ pajamas (i barely bother getting dressed anymore)
drink+ milk
i think i'm a little crazy. xD or a lot, i guess the judgement is up to ya'll.
i've come to a compromise of sorts with my insomnia. i no longer attempt to sleep at "normal" hours, i've been staying up and working until i'm tired, then sleeping until i'm not. it's not an ideal way of doing things, but i'm much less frustrated. xD that means that mostly now i stay awake until sometime between 9am and noon, then i sleep until 6 or 7 pm. Kyu's not thrilled, he wants me to have a "normal" schedule, but it hardly matters really, as long as stuff's getting done. i think it's mostly jealousy, he HATES getting up at 7/8 every morning to go to bill-paying work, then after that he goes straight to still-learning work and stays until about midnight, not falling asleep until around 2am most nights, only to repeat the next day. he's exhausted and irritable and taking it out on me a little and i'm trying to be comforting and understanding, but it's hard. just because i'm working from home (and at admittedly odd hours) doesn't mean i'm not working. *sigh* we're both looking forward to the time that he can quit the first job (which he's grown to hate) and be making money at the second (which he already loves). the best part of that is that tattooing is a job that'll encourage him to join me in the semi-nocturnal schedule to be able to spend time together. xD
the only other strange thing is that for quite a while now i've been craving sugar. like almost by itself.. X.x when i indulge it's not straight-sugar, because that's just gross, but it's been making me crazy for a while, like since right before new years, but after Christmas. i found myself very nearly putting maple syrup on scrambled eggs this morning, which actually sounds kinda (really) disgusting. i had a dream about buying homemade chocolate ship cookies in bulk from a warehouse store three nights (days technically) in a row. not like by-the-palette bulk, but big family-size packaging bulk. in the past two and a half weeks, i've had four candy canes (watermelon, mixed berry, cherry, and strawberry), two tubs of frosting (chocolate and vanilla/funfetti), a package of chewy chocolate chip cookies, a pint of ice cream (Ben&Jerry's Phish Food), three suckers (all butterscotch), two fun-size bags of M&Ms, a handful of double-stuff Oreos, most of a box of frozen waffles (with maple syrup), two orders of Taco Bueno's Cheesecake Chimichangas (in berry), and Sonic french toast sticks (again with syrup) with an M&M blast. plus three cans of root beer, and two fountain drinks (strawberry/root beer, and vanilla/dr pepper). all for the sugar content. it's kinda worrying me at this point, it seems much more terrifying all listed like that. it didn't seem anywhere near as indulgent as i was eating it. usually my sugar tolerance is WAY lower and i have trouble finishing a single-scoop ice cream cone, i'm eating like i'm another person lately.
book+ nothing presently
quest+ finishing this dress that is infuriating me
upper+ the depression i felt coming on has abated again
downer+ stupid Iple boobs are killing me! X.x
attire+ pajamas (i barely bother getting dressed anymore)
drink+ milk
i think i'm a little crazy. xD or a lot, i guess the judgement is up to ya'll.
i've come to a compromise of sorts with my insomnia. i no longer attempt to sleep at "normal" hours, i've been staying up and working until i'm tired, then sleeping until i'm not. it's not an ideal way of doing things, but i'm much less frustrated. xD that means that mostly now i stay awake until sometime between 9am and noon, then i sleep until 6 or 7 pm. Kyu's not thrilled, he wants me to have a "normal" schedule, but it hardly matters really, as long as stuff's getting done. i think it's mostly jealousy, he HATES getting up at 7/8 every morning to go to bill-paying work, then after that he goes straight to still-learning work and stays until about midnight, not falling asleep until around 2am most nights, only to repeat the next day. he's exhausted and irritable and taking it out on me a little and i'm trying to be comforting and understanding, but it's hard. just because i'm working from home (and at admittedly odd hours) doesn't mean i'm not working. *sigh* we're both looking forward to the time that he can quit the first job (which he's grown to hate) and be making money at the second (which he already loves). the best part of that is that tattooing is a job that'll encourage him to join me in the semi-nocturnal schedule to be able to spend time together. xD
the only other strange thing is that for quite a while now i've been craving sugar. like almost by itself.. X.x when i indulge it's not straight-sugar, because that's just gross, but it's been making me crazy for a while, like since right before new years, but after Christmas. i found myself very nearly putting maple syrup on scrambled eggs this morning, which actually sounds kinda (really) disgusting. i had a dream about buying homemade chocolate ship cookies in bulk from a warehouse store three nights (days technically) in a row. not like by-the-palette bulk, but big family-size packaging bulk. in the past two and a half weeks, i've had four candy canes (watermelon, mixed berry, cherry, and strawberry), two tubs of frosting (chocolate and vanilla/funfetti), a package of chewy chocolate chip cookies, a pint of ice cream (Ben&Jerry's Phish Food), three suckers (all butterscotch), two fun-size bags of M&Ms, a handful of double-stuff Oreos, most of a box of frozen waffles (with maple syrup), two orders of Taco Bueno's Cheesecake Chimichangas (in berry), and Sonic french toast sticks (again with syrup) with an M&M blast. plus three cans of root beer, and two fountain drinks (strawberry/root beer, and vanilla/dr pepper). all for the sugar content. it's kinda worrying me at this point, it seems much more terrifying all listed like that. it didn't seem anywhere near as indulgent as i was eating it. usually my sugar tolerance is WAY lower and i have trouble finishing a single-scoop ice cream cone, i'm eating like i'm another person lately.
State of the Neko address: week 48 (just a week late..) xD
song+ Love Story- Taylor Swift- Fearless
book+ nothing presently
quest+ getting business stuff set up and taken care of
upper+ feeling plenty rested
downer+ kinda losing any sense of timing lately
attire+ pajamas
drink+ root beer (i need the sugar)
i totally thought i'd posted something last week. my bad. xD i guess this is last week's and i'll do another for this week later.
anyhow, i've been slowly working on getting the patterns i need worked out for my doll clothes enterprise. i don't have inventory yet, but i'm getting closer and closer. i spent most of the past week working on a personal project that went to hell at the last second, which is immensely frustrating, but i'm still trying to salvage it, somehow. i should be ready to start version two pretty soon though. when it's done maybe i'll share the seriously altered version one attempt. if i can get this pattern to work like i see it in my head i can EASILY sell the dresses made from it for reasonable income and minimal effort. i know full well there's a market for fitted, classy EID styles. there's a reason too, the curves are such a pain no one really wants to try dealing with them. X.x it turns out making the patterns is only the first half of the headache. ugh.. they're such gorgeous girls that the frustration isn't enough to really keep me from working at it though.
anyhow, my second W2 came in the mail Saturday and i submitted my taxes Sunday. (yay TurboTax!) i've already heard back and should have my (reasonably sized) refund in the next two weeks. it's fortunately large enough to cover the new sewing machine i need, plus an external drive (for all my music since it's slowing my machine down having so much), Vanille (part of a planned set of twin kitten dolls with Roro) who shall be a PukiFee Shiwoo girl, and also the Wonder Woman prop replica (tiara, bulletproof gauntlets, and lasso of truth with display pedestal) set i ordered last year that FINALLY shipped from the distributor to the comic shop. xD it won't cover anything else, but i'm okay with that since i was expecting to get about half what i ended up with. one of my favorite things is TurboTax saying "oh hey, you qualify for more money, want it?" uh YEAH, why wouldn't i? xD
i promised Kyu that the sewing machine comes first, but i'm very excited about Vanille and her twin brother Creme who will be Roro's. they're gonna be the cutest little sugary-sweet kittens. we'll each be doing the faceups and blushing ourselves, so they'll definitely look unique, but they should still match (enough to be recognized as twins anyhow). so far as i recall from our giddy (mostly incoherent) planning chat, Creme will be a sherbet-ish boy with pale tabby markings and i'll be doing Vanille in dusky rose and caramel. i'll likely hold off on doing markings until Roro's done Creme's, but that could be a while since i'm ordering first. xD the Shiwoo face is just so mischievously adorable (i mean just LOOK at it!) that i can't think of a better trouble making kitten to dress in sugary dessert-ish confections of ruffles and lace.. that's the best part, planning the themed matching outfits. xD they're gonna be these little french aristocratic kittens in absurdly detailed outfits that are likely to kill me.. at least there won't be murderous curves involved though, just the tiniest scale ever almost. i have the notes i took from the original conversation on the backside of a foot long receipt (it was the only paper i could find), and based on just that one conversation there's about 8 different sets of costumes to plan. all foodish based too, i think that by the time Roro's able to get Creme home i may have something ready for him to wear. knowing my penchant for procrastination i may not though, or i just may take forever to get the stuff sent. xD
other than all this i've been slowly planning another doll for celebratory purchase once my business is making decent money. i've been looking for a doll that'd be a decent match facially to Xavin to be her baby girl. i'm not worrying about skin tone, i tanned Xavin, i can tan her baby, but it's really hard to find a tiny with elf ears, a realistic mouth with a full bottom lip, and eyes that aren't alien-huge. those are really my only set-in-stone criteria at this point. i do prefer happyish mouth sculpts, no anger or pouting for this one.. and i'd like a hint of shyness, but the elf ears, full lower lip, and decently small eyes are the main thing. so far the best i've found is LittleFee Dark Elf Soo, but since i have to sell product before i can make enough profit to finance this doll, i'm still looking around. xD i'm also willing to take suggestions if anyone finds something they think looks more like a decent match. for those that don't know, this is Xavin.
book+ nothing presently
quest+ getting business stuff set up and taken care of
upper+ feeling plenty rested
downer+ kinda losing any sense of timing lately
attire+ pajamas
drink+ root beer (i need the sugar)
i totally thought i'd posted something last week. my bad. xD i guess this is last week's and i'll do another for this week later.
anyhow, i've been slowly working on getting the patterns i need worked out for my doll clothes enterprise. i don't have inventory yet, but i'm getting closer and closer. i spent most of the past week working on a personal project that went to hell at the last second, which is immensely frustrating, but i'm still trying to salvage it, somehow. i should be ready to start version two pretty soon though. when it's done maybe i'll share the seriously altered version one attempt. if i can get this pattern to work like i see it in my head i can EASILY sell the dresses made from it for reasonable income and minimal effort. i know full well there's a market for fitted, classy EID styles. there's a reason too, the curves are such a pain no one really wants to try dealing with them. X.x it turns out making the patterns is only the first half of the headache. ugh.. they're such gorgeous girls that the frustration isn't enough to really keep me from working at it though.
anyhow, my second W2 came in the mail Saturday and i submitted my taxes Sunday. (yay TurboTax!) i've already heard back and should have my (reasonably sized) refund in the next two weeks. it's fortunately large enough to cover the new sewing machine i need, plus an external drive (for all my music since it's slowing my machine down having so much), Vanille (part of a planned set of twin kitten dolls with Roro) who shall be a PukiFee Shiwoo girl, and also the Wonder Woman prop replica (tiara, bulletproof gauntlets, and lasso of truth with display pedestal) set i ordered last year that FINALLY shipped from the distributor to the comic shop. xD it won't cover anything else, but i'm okay with that since i was expecting to get about half what i ended up with. one of my favorite things is TurboTax saying "oh hey, you qualify for more money, want it?" uh YEAH, why wouldn't i? xD
i promised Kyu that the sewing machine comes first, but i'm very excited about Vanille and her twin brother Creme who will be Roro's. they're gonna be the cutest little sugary-sweet kittens. we'll each be doing the faceups and blushing ourselves, so they'll definitely look unique, but they should still match (enough to be recognized as twins anyhow). so far as i recall from our giddy (mostly incoherent) planning chat, Creme will be a sherbet-ish boy with pale tabby markings and i'll be doing Vanille in dusky rose and caramel. i'll likely hold off on doing markings until Roro's done Creme's, but that could be a while since i'm ordering first. xD the Shiwoo face is just so mischievously adorable (i mean just LOOK at it!) that i can't think of a better trouble making kitten to dress in sugary dessert-ish confections of ruffles and lace.. that's the best part, planning the themed matching outfits. xD they're gonna be these little french aristocratic kittens in absurdly detailed outfits that are likely to kill me.. at least there won't be murderous curves involved though, just the tiniest scale ever almost. i have the notes i took from the original conversation on the backside of a foot long receipt (it was the only paper i could find), and based on just that one conversation there's about 8 different sets of costumes to plan. all foodish based too, i think that by the time Roro's able to get Creme home i may have something ready for him to wear. knowing my penchant for procrastination i may not though, or i just may take forever to get the stuff sent. xD
other than all this i've been slowly planning another doll for celebratory purchase once my business is making decent money. i've been looking for a doll that'd be a decent match facially to Xavin to be her baby girl. i'm not worrying about skin tone, i tanned Xavin, i can tan her baby, but it's really hard to find a tiny with elf ears, a realistic mouth with a full bottom lip, and eyes that aren't alien-huge. those are really my only set-in-stone criteria at this point. i do prefer happyish mouth sculpts, no anger or pouting for this one.. and i'd like a hint of shyness, but the elf ears, full lower lip, and decently small eyes are the main thing. so far the best i've found is LittleFee Dark Elf Soo, but since i have to sell product before i can make enough profit to finance this doll, i'm still looking around. xD i'm also willing to take suggestions if anyone finds something they think looks more like a decent match. for those that don't know, this is Xavin.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
State of the Neko address: week 47, part 2
song+ Rock Your Body- Black Eyed Peas
book+ the Stanislaski saga
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been making progress on personal projects
downer+ there doesn't seem to be enough time in a given day..
attire+ pajamas
drink+ milk
Day Ten: One confession.
1.) i'm always afraid, of almost everything. it's really only pride that keeps me going in any situation. my biggest fear is failure (in any capacity) and there's SO much i could screw up now, but i want to make it work, so i suck it up and make the fear work for me, in as many ways as i can. when i'm happy, i'm afraid i'll screw it up. when i'm depressed i'm afraid i'll never feel better. when i'm doing what i love, i worry that i'm not really any good and the positive reviews are platitudes due to family obligation and i don't really deserve the praise. i'm afraid of things, or situations, of so much. the only things i'm not afraid of are pain and death. i don't go looking for either, but they're about the only things that i've never panicked over. even love terrifies me, i worry that i'll ruin it, or that i don't deserve it. it doesn't matter that i KNOW how absurd my fears are, i still feel them.
i'm afraid of living, but i keep on every day.
book+ the Stanislaski saga
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been making progress on personal projects
downer+ there doesn't seem to be enough time in a given day..
attire+ pajamas
drink+ milk
Day Ten: One confession.
1.) i'm always afraid, of almost everything. it's really only pride that keeps me going in any situation. my biggest fear is failure (in any capacity) and there's SO much i could screw up now, but i want to make it work, so i suck it up and make the fear work for me, in as many ways as i can. when i'm happy, i'm afraid i'll screw it up. when i'm depressed i'm afraid i'll never feel better. when i'm doing what i love, i worry that i'm not really any good and the positive reviews are platitudes due to family obligation and i don't really deserve the praise. i'm afraid of things, or situations, of so much. the only things i'm not afraid of are pain and death. i don't go looking for either, but they're about the only things that i've never panicked over. even love terrifies me, i worry that i'll ruin it, or that i don't deserve it. it doesn't matter that i KNOW how absurd my fears are, i still feel them.
i'm afraid of living, but i keep on every day.
Monday, January 10, 2011
State of the Neko address: week 47
song+ BigBangTheory theme song
book+ nothing presently
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been making progress on personal projects
downer+ there doesn't seem to be enough time in a given day..
attire+ pajamas
drink+ milk
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
1.)
it's a cluttered office, with multiple desks, piles of fabric and notions, sorted bundles of art supplies, and dolls side by side within reach. a small area on the main desk is entirely cleared for room do draw out designs. supplies pertaining to other hobbies are visible, but put aside as the focus here is establishing the design and manufacture enterprise i've undertaken. it should be pretty obvious, this image is my office currently. xD it's chaotic and cluttered, but it's how i work.
2.)
this is more symbolic of how my time is spent now. i'm either designing and figuring out what i'd like to make and what i think will sell, or i'm slaving to make the patterns so i can actually make and sell the things i've worked SO HARD to design. this is what my life boils down to lately. it's exhausting and the hours really never stop, but it's so much more fulfilling than any 9 to 5 job ever was. i really do LOVE what i'm trying to do now. this is my iPod and speakers for the music that keeps me going. my pencil, eraser, fine point pens, and Prismacolor markers for the designs themselves. it's some finished designs and the materials i've picked for the self-fulfillment projects i'm working on side by side with the business setup. there's also the tape and vellum pieces and stuff for making the patterns.
book+ nothing presently
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been making progress on personal projects
downer+ there doesn't seem to be enough time in a given day..
attire+ pajamas
drink+ milk
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
1.)
it's a cluttered office, with multiple desks, piles of fabric and notions, sorted bundles of art supplies, and dolls side by side within reach. a small area on the main desk is entirely cleared for room do draw out designs. supplies pertaining to other hobbies are visible, but put aside as the focus here is establishing the design and manufacture enterprise i've undertaken. it should be pretty obvious, this image is my office currently. xD it's chaotic and cluttered, but it's how i work.
2.)
this is more symbolic of how my time is spent now. i'm either designing and figuring out what i'd like to make and what i think will sell, or i'm slaving to make the patterns so i can actually make and sell the things i've worked SO HARD to design. this is what my life boils down to lately. it's exhausting and the hours really never stop, but it's so much more fulfilling than any 9 to 5 job ever was. i really do LOVE what i'm trying to do now. this is my iPod and speakers for the music that keeps me going. my pencil, eraser, fine point pens, and Prismacolor markers for the designs themselves. it's some finished designs and the materials i've picked for the self-fulfillment projects i'm working on side by side with the business setup. there's also the tape and vellum pieces and stuff for making the patterns.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
State of the Neko address: week 46, part 7
song+ Ragdoll- Ashlee Simpson- Bittersweet World
book+ for the Love of Lilah
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been making progress on personal projects
downer+ there doesn't seem to be enough time in a given day..
attire+ pajamas
drink+ milk
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
1.) intelligence
2.) an open mind
3.) awesome shoes
book+ for the Love of Lilah
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been making progress on personal projects
downer+ there doesn't seem to be enough time in a given day..
attire+ pajamas
drink+ milk
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
1.) intelligence
2.) an open mind
3.) awesome shoes
Saturday, January 8, 2011
State of the Neko address: week 46, part 6
song+ Ragdoll- Ashlee Simpson- Bittersweet World
book+ Night Moves
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been making progress on personal projects
downer+ there doesn't seem to be enough time in a given day..
attire+ pajamas
drink+ water. i'm still out of milk
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
1.) smoking/recreational drug use
2.) an extraordinarily dominant personality (i decide what i'll do or not do)
3.) treating me like i'm a fool or a moron.
4.) dressing like a blind hobo. ick. Redneck Style is NOT my sexy button xP
book+ Night Moves
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been making progress on personal projects
downer+ there doesn't seem to be enough time in a given day..
attire+ pajamas
drink+ water. i'm still out of milk
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
1.) smoking/recreational drug use
2.) an extraordinarily dominant personality (i decide what i'll do or not do)
3.) treating me like i'm a fool or a moron.
4.) dressing like a blind hobo. ick. Redneck Style is NOT my sexy button xP
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