Tuesday, February 26, 2013

better late than never?

song+ Just A Fool (feat. Blake Shelton) -Christina Aguilera -Lotus
book+ my DQ9 guide, off and on
quest+ pulling together the basic structure for the personal project i'm developing
upper+ i have an abundance of ideas satisfying my creative urges
downer+ nothing comes to mind (yay!)
attire+ starry fleece pajama pants and a tank
drink+ water

right, already falling a bit behind on this again. not a whole lot has happened i guess in the last week. and Rory, i'm not cross posting to LJ because i have yet to remember/figure out a good chunk of my username/password match ups, and thus can't log in. sorry.

i have ideas for a personal project i think i wanna undertake for fun and to test my limits when it comes to costume replication and finicky details for prop making and doll-scale clothing. not really ready to talk about it though. i've started the researchy note-taking part of preparation for it, but the rest will probably wait a while since i don't even own the doll i wanna do it for yet.

my productivity has been kinda lousy as i've spent most daylight hours laying in bed hoping my light sensitivity headaches will go away. i'm most active once the sun goes down, though honestly i lost several hours today getting completely absorbed by the Lizzie Bennet Diaries on youtube. 91 videos all in a row (plus the 9 question and answer sessions) and now i have to wait until Thursday for the next episode. having at least a passing awareness of the basic plot of Pride and Prejudice i'm aware of which plot points it's gonna hit overall, but the execution of the modernizing has left me pleasantly surprised a few times.

but yeah, not a whole lot happening here, really.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

and thus i return

song+ Reach Out to the Truth (the Persona 4 theme song)
book+ my DQ9 guide, off and on
quest+ getting the new computer set up like i like it
upper+ i have a computer again
downer+ i'm terrible at remembering username-password matchups
attire+ sleep shorts and a tank
drink+ Dr. Pepper

so my computer died shortly after that last post went up. something inside overheated & shorted or something, but Wolfie managed to frankenstein it to working again with parts from other dead computers he had on hand. most of my stuff was backed up on my external drive, but i lost all my bookmarks, and all the passwords my computer remembered for me are things i have to trial-and-error to get to again. some of them i can't even remember my username, so that'll be interesting. xD i'm seriously absolutely terrible at remembering these things, there's a reason i tend to use the "sure, remember it all for me!" shortcuts whenever they're offered.

my computer dying (and the arrival of my late-Christmas gifts: Persona 4, Professor Layton: Diabolical Box, and Professor Layton: Unwound Future) delayed our completion of the rearranging project in our living room, but this week i think we're gonna really push to get it done. once it is i'll have a dedicated space for painting, and i have a few ideas for projects i'm eager to get started on. once i've done something i'll be sure to share pictures. showing off my paintings is about the only time i use my camera anymore.

let's see, also going on this week, Kyu has made it halfway through Series 3 of New Who. he's not all that fond of Martha as a companion, and he's kinda dreading Donna as he found her almost unbearable in her first appearance. i think she has some of the best Tenth Doctor episodes though, honestly. anyhow, Blink is the next episode, and he's been looking forward to it since it's one of the most hyped episodes. i think he's mostly just eager to get to Eleven, because Clara is the companion he actually likes best (he started with last year's Christmas special, The Snowmen, then decided to backtrack to Nine for clarity) and he's not sure if he'll like Amy/Rory era Who, but i love it, so no way will i let him skip it after working through everything else. xD most of you don't care about Doctor Who though, so i'll move on.

ah, let's see, mentally i'm still sliding toward manic. trying to deal with my increased light sensitivity without retreating to bed to sleep off headaches all the time is the hardest part. i'm trying to keep to a mostly functional sleeping pattern, but (obviously) not doing so well with it lately. still, all i can do is try. *shrug*

Sunday, February 10, 2013

the 411 today

song+ hearing as Kyu's watching Doctor Who- the Rose/Ten stuff
book+ nothing, too busy with other junk
quest+ cleaning and overhauling the living room layout
upper+ notable progress has been made on the cleaning thing
downer+ our rearranging is taking longer than we thought it would
attire+ cargo pants and a Wonder Woman tee
drink+ water

computer's together again, yay for that. we're not quite done with our rearranging project, but definite strides have been made all weekend. my desk is moved, as are the TV and the shelves for our DC lady statues. tomorrow we'll likely get the couch & Kyu's desk shifted, then i'll be moving my easel & painting stuff out of my closet finally.

i think the only news i have now that i didn't Friday is that Kyu decided to give the Doctor Who relaunch a try with the 2012 Christmas Special, and he liked it enough to start over from the beginning with Nine/Rose. we've been watching it while we clean and shuffle and he's enjoying it more than he wanted to, he's already into the second series (of six and a half). i'm having fun since i'd been wanting to start again, but i don't really have the willpower to watch the episodes i don't like again. since it's all new to him letting him run though at his best pace keeps me from skipping through haphazardly. xD

well, no, i guess i have one other new thing. the dog accidentally bit me Friday. she's not malicious, but she was jumping spazzy and her teeth caught my knuckle, being technically allergic to her, it swelled and bled off and on for a while, it's been repeatedly sterilized all weekend, and band-aid wrapped, but i'm doing all my left handed tasks a finger short, which makes typing especially difficult, along with the moving of our heavier things.

Friday, February 8, 2013

trying this again, i think

song+ Breakeven- the Script- the Script/It's Time- Imagine Dragons- Night Visions
book+ Inn Boonsboro trilogy- Nora Roberts
quest+ functioning like a real person
upper+ manic phases are easier to live through than depressive ones
downer+ manic phases bring intense migraines
attire+ cargo pants and a Batgirl tee
drink+ water

i know it's been a long time since i posted anything. i wasn't in any kind of place mentally to handle anything, much less talk about it. things have changed, things have stayed the same. i think i can talk again though. maybe not regularly, but at all is an improvement, right?

ah.. our fridge died earlier this week and we had to throw away everything but the butter, so i've been out of milk since Tuesday. the apartment complex replaced our fridge that same day, but being milkless has left me pretty irritable.

other than that my brain's slid to manic from depressed. manic makes interaction with humanity easier on some levels, but it leaves me (even more) easily distracted, and more sensitive to panic attack triggers. i handle sleights of an emotional nature better, and my brain processes faster, which is great for creative endeavors, but when thoughts go too quick it feels like by brain is vibrating so hard it rattles against the sides of my skull. those headaches can send me to bed for hours at a time.

i'd been fighting out of a hazy sucking swamp of depression for the last 3 years or so (possibly longer), but late last year it cleared and i was normal (neither depressed nor manic) for the first time possibly ever. it lasted most of the holiday season, and as someone who's dealt with seasonal depression on top of the standard for most of my life it felt unspeakably bizarre. like i sat there wondering why i didn't feel inexplicably sad.

tax refund season has rolled around again and Kyu's has hit his account. one of the things on our to-do list with it is taking care of the random junk i need to do so i can finally start college classes. that should be happening in the next week or so, but other stuff is being systematically taken care of. my broken ipod has been replaced, so i have a reliable music player for the first time in about 4 years, which is super nice. i'm having to readjust to a click wheel after a touchscreen, but i'm already doing better about not accidentally jacking up the volume when i go to skip a song. xD

i've been making a concentrated effort to work on my issues with social situations too lately. mostly successfully even! i guess it sounds kinda sad, but i'm really proud of myself for leaving the apartment for more than an hour twice this week. i went with Kyu to the comic shop then to dinner on wed, and today i went out to lunch with a friend and even ordered my own food (which is seriously REALLY difficult for me). tomorrow Kyu's running the Warhammer event at Lone Star and i'll be keeping him company, so that'll be three times this week. an auspicious start to February, i think. also, even though it didn't really involve leaving the apartment, i was the one that juggled the dog and the maintenance guy while our fridge was being replaced, so i think that counts for something too.