suddenly there is music in the sound of your name

song+ Rosemary -How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying
book+ nothing
quest+ pokemon white
upper+ ah.. something, i'm sure
downer+ i completely failed to deliver
attire+ pajamas
drink+ water

i had an okay week, except that i completely lost track of time and failed to finish the plush. in fact it's still not done, but it's really hard to make myself care. working on it was a nightmare and i've hated every moment related to it since i agreed to do it.

unrelated, i went with Jenni, Bonnie, Ren and Rose to see the Music Man yesterday, and it was good. i've had songs from a variety of Broadway shows in my head since leaving, but since i love showtunes that's hardly a bad thing. i'm gonna look for more musicals to watch this week while i work on other projects, showtunes make me happy. i may finally try out new shows that have been recommended but i've just put off from lack of motivation tracking them down.

i can move mountains, i can work a miracle

song+ Uma Thurman -Fall Out Boy -American Beauty American Psycho
book+ nothing
quest+ Squire productivity
upper+ rain?
downer+ less than a week to finish the squire
attire+ pajamas
drink+ water

i hate when i promise something, then realize partway through that i hate doing it and wish i'd never promised it at all. when i promised the squire plush i thought it'd be a lot simpler tan it's been. the shape of it defies standard plush pattern shapes, i'm doing it entirely without my sewing machine, and in my hateful procrastination i've put it off so long that i have less than a week to figure out the remaining issues and finish the thing. ugh.

i've spent the last week doing everything i can to avoid thinking about it, but i've finally reached that point where i have to suck it up and deal. so i guess it's time to get to work.

you call me up again, just to break me like a promise (so casually cruel in the name of being honest)

song+ All Too Well -Taylor Swift -Red
book+ nothing
quest+ Squire productivity
upper+ cupcakes?
downer+ uh.. something i'm sure
attire+ pajamas
drink+ water

i had another good weekend with mom. not too much got done opn the house projects, but some painting happened, and we both worked on personal projects.

i think the most notable thing this weekend was that mom and i hit her gym together and mom jogged a mile in one lane of the pool while i swam in a variety of forms (both standard and made up) in the lane next to her. it was fun, and i think the first time i'd been in a pool in something like 5 years. i love swimming, but the opportunity hadn't come up with workable timing in quite a while.

anyway, now it's on me to carry my weekend productivity into this week. we'll see what happens.

i asked her to stay, she didn't listen

song+ Won't Go Home Without You -Maroon 5 -It Won't Be Soon Before Long
book+ nothing
quest+ completing the Squire plush
upper+ yummy breakfast
downer+ looming dread over oft-procrastinated project
attire+ black pants and a Thor tee
drink+ starbucks strawberry creme frappucino

i know Kyu can relate, but sometimes you go to work on something and while you really want to get it done, you just find yourself filled with dread and hate and seething resentment. i want to get this stupid plush done, because i promised it and i do try to keep those, and because i'm looking forward to the decorating step, it's just the everything leading up to that i don't want to deal with. initial efforts turned out poorly so i have to redo like half of it, and the fabric is annoying, and my sewing machine's been busted for like a year, and just ugh.

i'll be trying to work on it this afternoon, but if the frustration gets too strong i'll probably take a break and play pokemon. pokemon is like my happy place, with less staring pointlessly into space. Pokemon makes me calm, except when it makes me furious because things need to just stay in the stupid balls!