State of the Neko address: week 10

song+ Bittersweet Goodbye- Kylie Minogue- Light Years
book+ Born in Fire
scent+ nothing- allergies flaring up
quest+ saving to visit Roro
upper+ i made the first Rosalie payment!
downer+ FCBD stress
attire+ plain black tee and jeans
drink+ dr pepper

this weekend was pretty awesome, i did next to nothing and reveled in the laziness. xD i made the first payment on Rosalie, and then i alternated between sleeping, staring into space, listening to music, and reading random Wikipedia articles. xD sometimes i just keep following links for hours on end.. it's pretty distracting. i felt unburdened and well-rested and all-around amazing, then i woke up this morning and didn't anymore. X.x ugh.

this week is a super-heavy workload, even without the remainder of the FCBD stuff happening. bleh. at this point i keep reminding myself i can get through this, and once i do i'll be a little closer to my vacation time. when summer rolls around, that's how i get through it, i tell myself “only X weeks until time off!” so this summer's not really any different, except that i'm taking my time a little later than normal, mid July rather than mid June.

this restless feeling is a prime factor for my predictable bouts of excessive summer spending. it hits every year and i frequently lack the willpower to keep from buying stuff to distract me from how i'm feeling. in spite of going for Rosalie, i'm actually doing much better this year. xD ..but honestly, i'm only doing better because i know i have to save up to go see Roro. if i didn't have that to go for, i'd be even poorer than i am, likely hovering just this side of debt. i've always had strong cases of summertime want-something-different-itis. xD intellectually, i'm aware the different-something isn't a physical something, but more a change in my routine, but i can never bring myself to do anything drastically different enough to satisfy the itchiness.. so i buy stuff instead and pretend it'll help. lame, i know. *shrug*

i guess being self-aware about my flaws and weaknesses does no good if i still lack the willpower or conviction to change anything. i'm still a kid, i guess. in some pretty important ways at least.

so far as distractions go, i got more music this weekend, based on recommendations. no idea how much of it i'll keep, but i'm working on giving it all a fair listening-to. i got the discographies of Beyonce (so far still not a fan, but her Ave Maria was nice), Rihanna (growing on me- i really like the songs with the heavy dance beats, like Pon de Replay), and Kylie Minogue (TONS to go through since she's been recording since '87, but i'm loving the Fever album from '02 with Come Into My World and Can't Get You Out Of My Head) most of this week will be spent listening and re-listening to just this new stuff and deciding what'll stay and what won't. it's a lot to go through. xD i'm enjoying the selection process though. i've learned from experience that i need to listen at multiple points because i've discounted things before, then heard them under different circumstances and loved it, so i figure using a whole week to try it all out is plenty fair.

i dunno, maybe with my recent focus on dance music and the excess energy i've got, i should go dancing with Moose this weekend.. i thought about asking if i could go with her Friday night, but decided she might need some solo time since we're together like all the time now. xD i think with enough forewarning it could be okay though. who knows, maybe we could both wear our jingly coin scarves at our hips and make all kinds of noise flailing about all spazzy-like. xD it could be pretty fun.

i think it's kinda funny that i ended up with a coin scarf in mom's signature color, and hers is in mine. i didn't even think about it until like now. xD i just got mine in red since it'd show up best against my green skirt. i can totally see myself getting more in different colors though. for now though i've just got the red with silver coins, like Moose has plummy purple with silver coins.. we both prefer silver to gold. xD

i just have to figure out an outfit that'll go with it reasonably well. i'm thinking most likely one of my Wonder Woman tees (i have like 9 of them) but i dunno what i wanna put on with it, like shorts or a skirt or whatever. i dunno, i guess there's time before this weekend, it's just nice to think about things other than work while i'm working. xD the best part of going dancing (other than the sense of absolute freedom brought on by dancing, of course) is getting to wear combinations of things you normally wouldn't dare, because it's part of the experience. it's more fun to swish your hips when you feel a tutu ruffling, or a coin scarf jingling. it's like it completes the action. and i guess no one really gets it unless they too have danced in something outrageous. Kyu sure looked at us like we were crazy when we did the tutus, but that could have been because i spent so much on them, i didn't ask. tutus are expensive, in case anyone was wondering. xD

i think i need something mindless and absorbing to distract me from thinking when i'm at home. all the games i've been playing lately are think-y games, i think i need some more mindless (possibly physical) ones to mess around on and really RELAX which i haven't been able to do lately. weeknights i don't have enough time to relax doing nothing, so i'll have to figure out how to relax doing something.. cause i'm getting closer and closer to the kind of workplace violence that makes the news. -_- it's a bit easier to avoid now that the MEGA dummy isn't ours anymore, but this time of year even people i love working with (normally) fill me with the urge to bash them with common office supplies.. or the things they leave lying around: empty food wrappers and takeout cups, discarded pants (don't ask) or hoodies, things randomly left WHEREVER with no thought of who'll have to clean it up. that kind of thoughtlessness has always bothered me, but when i've also got additional seasonal stresses building walls of obligation and pressure around me, it's elevated from Annoying Laziness to Stress I Don't Need. *sigh*

i get SO stressed at this Almost-FCBD, still Not-Vacation time that i crunch and pop with disturbing consistency whenever i move. my spine sounds like microwave popcorn today.. well, not quite, but seriously? eerily close to bubble wrap. *nod* the only upside to it is seeing the look on people's faces when they pass as i'm crunching especially loudly. xD they can't usually accept that it's a human body making the noises. i'm so broken..