State of the Neko address: week 70

song+ Don't Tell Me- Avril Lavigne- Under My Skin
book+ nothing
quest+ finishing the dress i'm sewing
upper+ Kyu's job interview is Thursday!
downer+ been feeling under the weather
attire+ summer pajamas
drink+ water

i've been thinking about weddings lately. i suppose it's a side effect of having my childhood best friend get married recently and having another good friend in the midst of planning hers. part of the reason that Kyu and i have made no efforts to get married ourselves, is that it's kinda the last grown-up thing we haven't tried. a lot of growing up was forced on us earlier in our relationship, so not being married is kinda like a rebellion against growing up. we've been a couple for 9 years, and living together for 5 or 6 of them. spring of 2014 will be our 10 year high school reunion, and i've realized i wanna be married by then. i know i'm a different person now than i was then, and i don't want the defining thing about the 10 year span of time to be my inability to accept change in my life. so yeah, i'm talking things over with Kyu and i'm starting to plan things again. i've got designs for dresses drawn up that i wanna talk over with mom, since she'll be sewing them. i'm starting to think about themes and how much of it i can do myself, because i want something deeply personal, created just for us to be shared with the people we love. i'll wanna talk to my sisters too, because the ones that have had weddings are sure to have advice on what i may not realize will be difficult, and the ones that haven't had them are inherently creative and know me very well, and i think they'll have insights into personalization that won't occur to me. i've started making lists though. xD so far the prevailing school of thought is Old Hollywood Glamour as a theme. movie star gowns and Rat Pack suits, with fedoras. i was initially inclined to 50s inspired gowns, but i've found myself working closer to a 30s Art Deco inspiration.

i've been working on sewing a doll dress in the silhouette of my designed gown to see how workable it is, and so far i'm pleased. it's slow-going though, my sewing machine has been in Krista's car since late-April, so i'm doing everything by hand. xD it's actually a relatively simple pattern for the complexity of the design, and i think if it works out right, it's one i could be content to replicate for sales purposes. i'm eager to see how it'd turn out in different fabrics too, with alternate detailing. the current iteration is being done in shades of red, because that's what i have on hand, and it's for FaithAnn because she's the most in need of attention lately. i took a break from it yesterday after cutting my finger, but i think today i'm ready to get back to work on it.

while working on other things, i've been working on listening to all my music again. i'm working my way through my iTunes library alphabetically. i've finally reached B, but it'll be a long while still before it's done and everything's been listened to. it's made me realize that as much as i love music, and i'm a decent singer, i don't think of myself as a musician. i have a great appreciation for it, and it's always with me in some way, but i lack the capacity to create it and express myself adequately. Kyu was asking if i want a guitar or a drum set to lean to express it, but i think i'd rather learn piano or keyboard, for space reasons primarily, but also because i imagine it's the best option for fingers prone to locking in position. anything that requires precise finger placement is pretty much not an option for me. my double-jointed fingers (everything but my thumbs) lock into position involuntarily from time to time, which is why i was so terrible at recorder when i learned it in elementary school. X.x i wish i could figure out how to share what i hear though, i'm better at expressing my artistic visions than my musical ones.