Saturday was a good day

song+ Miss Missing You- Fall Out Boy- Save Rock and Roll
book+ Cyborg009 intro oneshot
quest+ job hunting
upper+ Man of Steel was awesome
downer+ wonky sleeping patten and bad-dream echoes
attire+ starry pajama pants and a green hoodie
drink+ milk

still not okay per se, but i finally managed audible communication Friday. i'd been trapped basically in a panic attack since waking Monday-ish, with any words i tried getting lodged in my throat, i could feel myself literally choking on them when i tried to talk (or even breathe more than shallow breaths) but it receded a bit.

as a cheering me up, helping me out of my funk through socialization gesture Kyu took me to the mall yesterday. our primary goal was to see Man of Steel, but we also wandered and i picked up a few job applications to fill out, we'll see how that works out. the movie was awesome though. like there's not much i can say without falling into a nerdy ranty ramble, but i loved it and it was amazing, and everyone should give it a chance. i will disclaim that it's definitely the most realistic look at how people would probably react if a near-godly superhuman showed up out of nowhere, but it avoids needless grim dark, so i absolutely recommend it. it was more obviously physical than i was expecting though, and i honestly don't think it's a small-kid movie in spite of being Superman. there's realistic levels of death (mostly implied but absolutely obvious) and a family behind us was juggling crying freaked out kids near the end. it was obvious that they were expecting something fluffier from a Superman movie.

basically i loved that Superman was true to himself. he was strong, and insecure, and real and everything people forget that he is. Superman is super yes, but Clark Kent is who he really is, not the lie. i loved Jor El, i loved Pa and Ma Kent. i loved all the parents being different, real people that loved their son and wanted him to be happy even if what he wanted wasn't what they wanted. i legit cried at one scene touching on that, though saying which verges on spoilery, so i won't. i loved that (multiple Pulitzer prize winner) Lois Lane was a Reporter, competent enough to figure out an identity before a decade of working beside fake glasses. i loved that her decisions were respected, but she wasn't more powerful than her editor, and she was more than a damsel to be rescued because Lois is a a boss, and she's more BAMFy than Superman on any given day even without powers. Superman is humanity's hero, but Lois is Clark's hero. i loved that while there was technically a touch of Clark-Lois romance (as expected) it was in no way the focus of anything big. i didn't care that Lois was a ginger and Lana was brunette because honestly it's just hair. i liked that Pete Ross was a good friend to Clark, keeping his secret all his life (even if Ihop server is a serious step down from PotUS). i loved competent, morally honest, respectable Perry White (no i don't care that they cast a black man for him, it freakin WORKED). i even liked (perpetual ginger) aspiring photojournalist Jimmy Olsen being sweet (brunette) intern Jenny Olsen.

so yeah, there's further socialization plans for later today (like when things are open and the sun is up). we're gonna walk over to the nearby thrift store and see what we can find to expand my wardrobe, which is pretty exciting for me. xD i have a few things in mind i hope to find, but i'm keeping an open mind so far as possibilities go, because you can never really go into a thrift store expecting to find anything in particular. i'm hoping for a few certain silhouettes though, and i have a general color family i'm thinking of in mind. i wanna expand my neutral palette without relying on black all the time, so that's the goal.

that's it for now though. i'm just wondering if 3am is a good time to set up my easel and maybe paint some. i've been working on components for some mixed media pop culture things lately, so i'm kinda excited to see how they work out. xD