song+ Misery- Maroon 5- Hands All Over
book+ nothing presently
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been making progress on personal projects
downer+ there doesn't seem to be enough time in a given day..
attire+ pants and a plain tee
drink+ water. i'm still out of milk
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
1.) Kyu
2.) Roro
3.) James
4.) mom
5.) Mommy2
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
State of the Neko address: week 46, part 4
song+ What Do You Want From Me?- Kris Allen
book+ a former co-worker's screenplay
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been making progress on personal projects
downer+ there doesn't seem to be enough time in a given day..
attire+ pants and one of my (many) Wonder Woman tee shirts
drink+ water. i'm out of milk again
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done. (since i don't believe in regret, this is more mistakes i'll admit to making)
1.) ignored sound advice out of spite and rebellion
2.) feigned romantic interest to preserve a friendship
3.) bought things out of "oh shiny!" and not a legitimate desire to have them
4.) pretended to be someone else for a chance at approval i didn't really want or need
5.) let my laziness and depression overshadow my passion for learning early on, hindering my options in later educational endeavors
6.) given up what i really wanted to maintain a semblance of peace with people i didn't (still don't) even like
book+ a former co-worker's screenplay
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been making progress on personal projects
downer+ there doesn't seem to be enough time in a given day..
attire+ pants and one of my (many) Wonder Woman tee shirts
drink+ water. i'm out of milk again
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done. (since i don't believe in regret, this is more mistakes i'll admit to making)
1.) ignored sound advice out of spite and rebellion
2.) feigned romantic interest to preserve a friendship
3.) bought things out of "oh shiny!" and not a legitimate desire to have them
4.) pretended to be someone else for a chance at approval i didn't really want or need
5.) let my laziness and depression overshadow my passion for learning early on, hindering my options in later educational endeavors
6.) given up what i really wanted to maintain a semblance of peace with people i didn't (still don't) even like
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
pictures of stuff! xD
in addition to the 10 days of whatever, i have some random photos to share of various things i think will amuse all of you.
some of the tree i made this year, since at the last moment i remembered that last year the dog ate the tree. like literally. there's the dolls trimming it, and Christmas Eve shots of our gifts under it and the stockings on the wall as Kyu did hobby stuff in the way. xD
Chloe's faceup finally got done as i figured she finally deserved a face for 2011. it's kinda like she's a tiny version of Eve almost. xD seriously slightly smaller than a barbie, she's sitting on top of my design portfolio.
some of Cori and Xavin snuggling. they photograph easiest together since they're my darkest dolls and anyone else gets washed out in pictures with them.. xD like the smidgen of Eve you see in the corner on one of them.
lastly, an example of how i do my pattern drafting. i cut shapes from vellum and tape them together until i have the shape and silhouette i want for the final garment, then i cut darts until it lays flat, trace it onto paper and add a seam allowance. this is for a Vegas showgirl costume i'm doing for Xavin. if the pleats lay right in vellum i KNOW for certain i won't have trouble gathering them in cotton. xD
some of the tree i made this year, since at the last moment i remembered that last year the dog ate the tree. like literally. there's the dolls trimming it, and Christmas Eve shots of our gifts under it and the stockings on the wall as Kyu did hobby stuff in the way. xD
Chloe's faceup finally got done as i figured she finally deserved a face for 2011. it's kinda like she's a tiny version of Eve almost. xD seriously slightly smaller than a barbie, she's sitting on top of my design portfolio.
some of Cori and Xavin snuggling. they photograph easiest together since they're my darkest dolls and anyone else gets washed out in pictures with them.. xD like the smidgen of Eve you see in the corner on one of them.
lastly, an example of how i do my pattern drafting. i cut shapes from vellum and tape them together until i have the shape and silhouette i want for the final garment, then i cut darts until it lays flat, trace it onto paper and add a seam allowance. this is for a Vegas showgirl costume i'm doing for Xavin. if the pleats lay right in vellum i KNOW for certain i won't have trouble gathering them in cotton. xD
State of the Neko address: week 46, part 3
song+ Just the Way You Are- Bruno Mars
book+ FF3 guide
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been working on personal projects during the holiday period
downer+ have to get back to work on business stuff now
attire+ pajamas
drink+ milk
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
1.) my diet. i really love junk food so healthy stuff and moderation in everything is hard and i have to think about it. a lot.
2.) design work. i'm always considering what i can draw next
3.) the shapes i need to make the next pattern pieces for Cori.
4.) how much work i'll still have to do adapting Cori's patterns to make Eve's. there's a pretty huge difference in fit between the two of them
5.) how unhappy Kyu is at work. he's been unhappy there for years, and at least now he's taking steps to learn the trade he'd rather be pursuing, but anything worth doing is worth doing right, so he's sticking with the other job also to pay the bills.
6.) music. i'm always looking for more, since i'm pretty much always listening to it now that i work at home. i have six or seven new albums to listen to and delete what i don't like, then i'll be looking for more again.
7.) more space on my computer. when i can afford it i need to get an external drive for all my music since the quantity i have is slowing down everything else.. and i still want more.
book+ FF3 guide
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been working on personal projects during the holiday period
downer+ have to get back to work on business stuff now
attire+ pajamas
drink+ milk
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
1.) my diet. i really love junk food so healthy stuff and moderation in everything is hard and i have to think about it. a lot.
2.) design work. i'm always considering what i can draw next
3.) the shapes i need to make the next pattern pieces for Cori.
4.) how much work i'll still have to do adapting Cori's patterns to make Eve's. there's a pretty huge difference in fit between the two of them
5.) how unhappy Kyu is at work. he's been unhappy there for years, and at least now he's taking steps to learn the trade he'd rather be pursuing, but anything worth doing is worth doing right, so he's sticking with the other job also to pay the bills.
6.) music. i'm always looking for more, since i'm pretty much always listening to it now that i work at home. i have six or seven new albums to listen to and delete what i don't like, then i'll be looking for more again.
7.) more space on my computer. when i can afford it i need to get an external drive for all my music since the quantity i have is slowing down everything else.. and i still want more.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
State of the Neko address: week 46, part 2
song+ Magic- B.o.B.
book+ FF3 guide
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been working on personal projects during the holiday period
downer+ have to get back to work on business stuff now
attire+ pajamas
drink+ milk
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
1.) make me laugh
2.) be completely honest, even if you think i don't want to hear what you have to say
3.) respect that sometimes (frequently) i just want to be alone. it doesn't mean i hate you, or that i'm even angry or upset, i just need more solitude than pretty much anyone else ever
4.) appreciate music. it doesn't have to be the same stuff i like, i get that i have the musical tastes of a twelve year old or a gay man, but as long as you get the need for music i know that you get me (as much as anyone really can)
5.) realize that i am pretty much beyond comprehension and be okay with it. it's okay, even people who've known me all my life can't say with any certainty the kind of person i am. i'm living contradictions that fit perfectly as a whole.
6.) listen to what i have to say and respect my point of view, even if it's not yours
7.) know that sometimes the unexpected means more to me than the typical. favorite valentine's gift ever? a snuggly lap blanket.
8.) use your talents. i hate when someone squanders what they've been given only to complain that their life is lacking something. if you deny who you could be it's only natural to be unhappy.
book+ FF3 guide
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been working on personal projects during the holiday period
downer+ have to get back to work on business stuff now
attire+ pajamas
drink+ milk
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
1.) make me laugh
2.) be completely honest, even if you think i don't want to hear what you have to say
3.) respect that sometimes (frequently) i just want to be alone. it doesn't mean i hate you, or that i'm even angry or upset, i just need more solitude than pretty much anyone else ever
4.) appreciate music. it doesn't have to be the same stuff i like, i get that i have the musical tastes of a twelve year old or a gay man, but as long as you get the need for music i know that you get me (as much as anyone really can)
5.) realize that i am pretty much beyond comprehension and be okay with it. it's okay, even people who've known me all my life can't say with any certainty the kind of person i am. i'm living contradictions that fit perfectly as a whole.
6.) listen to what i have to say and respect my point of view, even if it's not yours
7.) know that sometimes the unexpected means more to me than the typical. favorite valentine's gift ever? a snuggly lap blanket.
8.) use your talents. i hate when someone squanders what they've been given only to complain that their life is lacking something. if you deny who you could be it's only natural to be unhappy.
Monday, January 3, 2011
State of the Neko address: week 46
song+ Rock God- Selena Gomez & the Scene- A Year Without Rain
book+ FF3 guide
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been working on personal projects during the holiday period
downer+ have to get back to work on business stuff now
attire+ pajamas
drink+ milk
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
1.) i have about as many allergies as i do phobias, none of which are the types of things you'd expect. i'm allergic to wool, but NOT poison ivy. i'm afraid of grass, but not needles/knives/swords- i'm fine with them. the exception being that i'm fine with needles for injection/application, but not extraction. that's less fear than involuntary sickness though.
2.) i'm a little dyslexic with numbers. i'm not bad at math, but i hate doing it since i'm pretty much always having to double-check and make sure the digits are in the right place. to me 29 and 92 look about the same, so i have to try harder to do the same amount of number-crunching as someone normal.
3.) i think in colors and shapes. words are easy to me, and i can sometimes tell what someone's saying if i don't speak their language, but i think in planes and angles. corners and tangents and color are my native language. i understand what makes something before i understand how to replicate it.
4.) my design process is frequently abstract. i have an idea for a theme and think of what it makes me feel, then what that feeling makes me see. i described it to kyu almost as a handful of d20 being rolled and then i see if the result makes sense. if not, i re-roll and keep my thoughts tumbling until it clicks. to non-nerds i suppose comparing it to a slot machine would work about the same. xD
5.) i have a passion for myth. fairy tales, religious myth, and fantasy all have the same underlying structure to their worlds. it feels brilliant and right to me and i've always loved them.
6.) i'm not particularly religious in spite of that. i have a belief structure, but since it doesn't align with any traditional one, i prefer not to explain it to anyone. the biggest misunderstanding is that since i no longer identify myself a particular way people assume i think it's all wrong. just because it's not my truth doesn't mean it's not true for other people. i fully believe that a person's truth is dependent on the shape of their soul.
7.) i believe in supernatural phenomena. not ALL of it, but a lot of tales have recurring themes in cultures all over the world throughout history, so it makes sense that there's a degree of truth to it. i've seen things that can't be explained by modern science, so i believe.
8.) i'm a scorpio. i believe that says a good deal about who i am as a person. not that it defines me, but that it provides a template for getting to know me. i believe in astrology. xD
9.) i don't believe that monogamy is natural. not that it's impossible, it's entirely attainable and respectable, but i think it's unnatural so far as instinct goes. people assume that my saying this is justification of a desire to stray and it's not i have no desire for an alternative partner. i think a person can't help who they feel attracted to, and nature has people being drawn to multiple options for survival of the species, but resisting that is entirely possible. a person can ignore or resist urges when already committed and that's what they should do. honesty is the key, i won't deny attraction to people other than the one i'm committed to, but i have never cheated and fully believe i never will.
book+ FF3 guide
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been working on personal projects during the holiday period
downer+ have to get back to work on business stuff now
attire+ pajamas
drink+ milk
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
1.) i have about as many allergies as i do phobias, none of which are the types of things you'd expect. i'm allergic to wool, but NOT poison ivy. i'm afraid of grass, but not needles/knives/swords- i'm fine with them. the exception being that i'm fine with needles for injection/application, but not extraction. that's less fear than involuntary sickness though.
2.) i'm a little dyslexic with numbers. i'm not bad at math, but i hate doing it since i'm pretty much always having to double-check and make sure the digits are in the right place. to me 29 and 92 look about the same, so i have to try harder to do the same amount of number-crunching as someone normal.
3.) i think in colors and shapes. words are easy to me, and i can sometimes tell what someone's saying if i don't speak their language, but i think in planes and angles. corners and tangents and color are my native language. i understand what makes something before i understand how to replicate it.
4.) my design process is frequently abstract. i have an idea for a theme and think of what it makes me feel, then what that feeling makes me see. i described it to kyu almost as a handful of d20 being rolled and then i see if the result makes sense. if not, i re-roll and keep my thoughts tumbling until it clicks. to non-nerds i suppose comparing it to a slot machine would work about the same. xD
5.) i have a passion for myth. fairy tales, religious myth, and fantasy all have the same underlying structure to their worlds. it feels brilliant and right to me and i've always loved them.
6.) i'm not particularly religious in spite of that. i have a belief structure, but since it doesn't align with any traditional one, i prefer not to explain it to anyone. the biggest misunderstanding is that since i no longer identify myself a particular way people assume i think it's all wrong. just because it's not my truth doesn't mean it's not true for other people. i fully believe that a person's truth is dependent on the shape of their soul.
7.) i believe in supernatural phenomena. not ALL of it, but a lot of tales have recurring themes in cultures all over the world throughout history, so it makes sense that there's a degree of truth to it. i've seen things that can't be explained by modern science, so i believe.
8.) i'm a scorpio. i believe that says a good deal about who i am as a person. not that it defines me, but that it provides a template for getting to know me. i believe in astrology. xD
9.) i don't believe that monogamy is natural. not that it's impossible, it's entirely attainable and respectable, but i think it's unnatural so far as instinct goes. people assume that my saying this is justification of a desire to stray and it's not i have no desire for an alternative partner. i think a person can't help who they feel attracted to, and nature has people being drawn to multiple options for survival of the species, but resisting that is entirely possible. a person can ignore or resist urges when already committed and that's what they should do. honesty is the key, i won't deny attraction to people other than the one i'm committed to, but i have never cheated and fully believe i never will.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
State of the Neko address: week 45 (technically)
song+ Rock God- Selena Gomez & the Scene- A Year Without Rain
book+ FF3 guide
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been working on personal projects during the holiday period
downer+ have to get back to work on business stuff now
attire+ pajamas
drink+ milk
stealing this from Roro. i'm running a little later, but it'll all get done. xD
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.
Day One: i love you all!
1.) you are my sun. i can't hate you, in spite of the fact that my life is cold when i think of how you're not near. i hate that you can hurt me, and do without trying. i hate that you still matter to me, no matter how i try to forget you and move on. i really don't think i'll ever be able to.
2.) you are my moon. you're mercurial and changing and i love you. you make me happy out of nowhere. you make me crazy all the time and i'm amazed i have yet to actually deck you, but mostly you make me happy. i feel loved with you, and like i really matter for more than what i can do. i matter for who i am.
3.) i suppose you're one of the distant planets- i'm aware of your location, but can't see you on my own. it requires outside help. i miss feeling like your friend. i wish our cumulative crazy didn't keep us apart so much. we really should talk more than we do.
4.) in the metaphorical sky of my interpersonal relationships, you're a specific constellation- orion the hunter. there and dependable, i never worry that you'll let me down. everyone can see how dependable you are. it's possibly the thing i love most about you after your twisted sense of humor.
5.) you make me laugh more than pretty much anyone else i know. you're not a constellation, you're the north star. steady and dependable. fog and distance makes it hard to see you sometimes, but i know you're there for me. and i'm always here for you too.
6.) you're mercury, part of my orbit, but not always when i wish you would be. loving you is frequently an exercise in frustration, but it can also be surprising delight. i wish you'd find yourself. you're on your way, but it's hard to know you when you don't know yourself. also you manage to effect every relationship i'm part of when you swing through.
7.) it'd be easy to label you ursa major, but i think you're more the weaver. i'm glad that in recent years we've found the relationship i couldn't handle trying to build for so long. i'm glad that my selfish years of paranoia, doubt and depression didn't kill in you what it was smothering in me. i know i was remarkably unpleasant for a long time. i was so miserably unhappy i didn't want anyone else to be either and much of that was taken out on you. even when that was happening though, i took solace in the artistic gifts you've given me. when i couldn't stand to say i loved, or was loved, it was easy to say that i inherited my artistic skill from my mother. i've always admired your capacity to create. it's the most beautiful part of you.
8.) you're a star i was afraid had burned out, it just turns out i wasn't looking in the right direction. your friendship defined the most challenging moments of my youth. knowing you got me through so many problems, some things i spoke of easily and some i was ashamed of feeling. i knew that you'd still love me if i screwed up, and i knew my words mattered to you, so i made sure i was careful with them. the relationship we had made me work to be worthy of it. i'm glad we're taking steps to find that again, in the years we didn't speak i missed you more than i could figure out how to articulate.
9.) you're a distant star, i sometimes wish we were closer than we are, but i know that there's warmth in spite of perceived distance. you have different skills than i do, chief among them being (in my view) composure in the face of the unknown. it's not your most obvious skill, but it's what i've always been most envious of. i'm afraid of so much, your capacity to do anything you try inspires me to be less afraid.
10.) you're a distant star, i sometimes wish we were closer than we are, but i know that there's warmth in spite of perceived distance. i think that much of what we don't have rests on me and my numerous neuroses, but i'm happy that little by little we're managing to connect a litte more. while i don't see us ever having the kind of relationships we individually share with others, i enjoy learning about who you've become in the time we were living independantly.
book+ FF3 guide
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been working on personal projects during the holiday period
downer+ have to get back to work on business stuff now
attire+ pajamas
drink+ milk
stealing this from Roro. i'm running a little later, but it'll all get done. xD
Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.
Day One: i love you all!
1.) you are my sun. i can't hate you, in spite of the fact that my life is cold when i think of how you're not near. i hate that you can hurt me, and do without trying. i hate that you still matter to me, no matter how i try to forget you and move on. i really don't think i'll ever be able to.
2.) you are my moon. you're mercurial and changing and i love you. you make me happy out of nowhere. you make me crazy all the time and i'm amazed i have yet to actually deck you, but mostly you make me happy. i feel loved with you, and like i really matter for more than what i can do. i matter for who i am.
3.) i suppose you're one of the distant planets- i'm aware of your location, but can't see you on my own. it requires outside help. i miss feeling like your friend. i wish our cumulative crazy didn't keep us apart so much. we really should talk more than we do.
4.) in the metaphorical sky of my interpersonal relationships, you're a specific constellation- orion the hunter. there and dependable, i never worry that you'll let me down. everyone can see how dependable you are. it's possibly the thing i love most about you after your twisted sense of humor.
5.) you make me laugh more than pretty much anyone else i know. you're not a constellation, you're the north star. steady and dependable. fog and distance makes it hard to see you sometimes, but i know you're there for me. and i'm always here for you too.
6.) you're mercury, part of my orbit, but not always when i wish you would be. loving you is frequently an exercise in frustration, but it can also be surprising delight. i wish you'd find yourself. you're on your way, but it's hard to know you when you don't know yourself. also you manage to effect every relationship i'm part of when you swing through.
7.) it'd be easy to label you ursa major, but i think you're more the weaver. i'm glad that in recent years we've found the relationship i couldn't handle trying to build for so long. i'm glad that my selfish years of paranoia, doubt and depression didn't kill in you what it was smothering in me. i know i was remarkably unpleasant for a long time. i was so miserably unhappy i didn't want anyone else to be either and much of that was taken out on you. even when that was happening though, i took solace in the artistic gifts you've given me. when i couldn't stand to say i loved, or was loved, it was easy to say that i inherited my artistic skill from my mother. i've always admired your capacity to create. it's the most beautiful part of you.
8.) you're a star i was afraid had burned out, it just turns out i wasn't looking in the right direction. your friendship defined the most challenging moments of my youth. knowing you got me through so many problems, some things i spoke of easily and some i was ashamed of feeling. i knew that you'd still love me if i screwed up, and i knew my words mattered to you, so i made sure i was careful with them. the relationship we had made me work to be worthy of it. i'm glad we're taking steps to find that again, in the years we didn't speak i missed you more than i could figure out how to articulate.
9.) you're a distant star, i sometimes wish we were closer than we are, but i know that there's warmth in spite of perceived distance. you have different skills than i do, chief among them being (in my view) composure in the face of the unknown. it's not your most obvious skill, but it's what i've always been most envious of. i'm afraid of so much, your capacity to do anything you try inspires me to be less afraid.
10.) you're a distant star, i sometimes wish we were closer than we are, but i know that there's warmth in spite of perceived distance. i think that much of what we don't have rests on me and my numerous neuroses, but i'm happy that little by little we're managing to connect a litte more. while i don't see us ever having the kind of relationships we individually share with others, i enjoy learning about who you've become in the time we were living independantly.
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