State of the Neko address: week 45 (technically)

song+ Rock God- Selena Gomez & the Scene- A Year Without Rain
book+ FF3 guide
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been working on personal projects during the holiday period
downer+ have to get back to work on business stuff now
attire+ pajamas
drink+ milk

stealing this from Roro. i'm running a little later, but it'll all get done. xD

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven: Four turn-offs.
Day Eight: Three turn-ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.

Day One: i love you all!
1.) you are my sun. i can't hate you, in spite of the fact that my life is cold when i think of how you're not near. i hate that you can hurt me, and do without trying. i hate that you still matter to me, no matter how i try to forget you and move on. i really don't think i'll ever be able to.
2.) you are my moon. you're mercurial and changing and i love you. you make me happy out of nowhere. you make me crazy all the time and i'm amazed i have yet to actually deck you, but mostly you make me happy. i feel loved with you, and like i really matter for more than what i can do. i matter for who i am.
3.) i suppose you're one of the distant planets- i'm aware of your location, but can't see you on my own. it requires outside help. i miss feeling like your friend. i wish our cumulative crazy didn't keep us apart so much. we really should talk more than we do.
4.) in the metaphorical sky of my interpersonal relationships, you're a specific constellation- orion the hunter. there and dependable, i never worry that you'll let me down. everyone can see how dependable you are. it's possibly the thing i love most about you after your twisted sense of humor.
5.) you make me laugh more than pretty much anyone else i know. you're not a constellation, you're the north star. steady and dependable. fog and distance makes it hard to see you sometimes, but i know you're there for me. and i'm always here for you too.
6.) you're mercury, part of my orbit, but not always when i wish you would be. loving you is frequently an exercise in frustration, but it can also be surprising delight. i wish you'd find yourself. you're on your way, but it's hard to know you when you don't know yourself. also you manage to effect every relationship i'm part of when you swing through.
7.) it'd be easy to label you ursa major, but i think you're more the weaver. i'm glad that in recent years we've found the relationship i couldn't handle trying to build for so long. i'm glad that my selfish years of paranoia, doubt and depression didn't kill in you what it was smothering in me. i know i was remarkably unpleasant for a long time. i was so miserably unhappy i didn't want anyone else to be either and much of that was taken out on you. even when that was happening though, i took solace in the artistic gifts you've given me. when i couldn't stand to say i loved, or was loved, it was easy to say that i inherited my artistic skill from my mother. i've always admired your capacity to create. it's the most beautiful part of you.
8.) you're a star i was afraid had burned out, it just turns out i wasn't looking in the right direction. your friendship defined the most challenging moments of my youth. knowing you got me through so many problems, some things i spoke of easily and some i was ashamed of feeling. i knew that you'd still love me if i screwed up, and i knew my words mattered to you, so i made sure i was careful with them. the relationship we had made me work to be worthy of it. i'm glad we're taking steps to find that again, in the years we didn't speak i missed you more than i could figure out how to articulate.
9.) you're a distant star, i sometimes wish we were closer than we are, but i know that there's warmth in spite of perceived distance. you have different skills than i do, chief among them being (in my view) composure in the face of the unknown. it's not your most obvious skill, but it's what i've always been most envious of. i'm afraid of so much, your capacity to do anything you try inspires me to be less afraid.
10.) you're a distant star, i sometimes wish we were closer than we are, but i know that there's warmth in spite of perceived distance. i think that much of what we don't have rests on me and my numerous neuroses, but i'm happy that little by little we're managing to connect a litte more. while i don't see us ever having the kind of relationships we individually share with others, i enjoy learning about who you've become in the time we were living independantly.