State of the Neko address: week 93

song+ Rumour Has It/Someone Like You- Glee cast
book+ Carolina Moon- Nora Roberts
quest+ figuring out Christmas gifts
upper+ i'm not really wrathful anymore
downer+ i'm out of canvas & still not really happy
attire+ pajamas, i haven't gotten dressed in nearly a week
drink+ milk

i don't know how it came to be Friday already, i spent most of yesterday thinking it was only Tuesday or something. this week managed to get away from me. i've found myself (no matter what else i mean to be doing) listening to the Glee mashup of Adele's Rumour Has It & Someone Like You. i've never watched Glee before, but i do think that i actually prefer the performance of the two together to the real singles. it's just fantastic, i'll even include here it so nobody has to try and look for it.



i know that there are other things that i should be devoting my efforts (such as they presently are) to, but i can't think of what they could be. i'm apparently past the rage-at-everything part of depression, but now i seem to be in that aimless everything-is-foggy-and-indistinct phase of it. i've pretty much been playing the Youtube version of the song every 5 minutes, reading when my attention can be held long enough, and sleeping the rest of the time. i'm also wasting hours at a time with Facebook games. i've remembered to walk Harley, but really that doesn't take much cognitive processing, she's pretty vocal about when it's time to go outside. i feel like a zombie.

this is the worst part of being depressed for me, when i can't manage to make myself give a damn about anything at all. X.x there's stuff going on that i should be thinking about, or trying for, and while i maintain the awareness that i should be doing.. i'm just not caring. there's nothing i can really do to get past it, i just have to wait for it to run its course. i can only hope it decides to pass swiftly this time, though it's never taken my preference into account before. i just hope to feel vaguely human again by Christmas.