worst.. nap.. ever..

song+ Roll With It- Oasis- (What's the Story) Morning Glory?
book+ imaginary ones! ugh
scent+ my olfactory senses quit on me
quest+ venting about the worst nap ever
upper+i am no longer stuck in that endless hell of a dream. loud tv to the rescue!
downer+ i can still recall every boring moment of it
attire+ pajamas. anyone surprised?
drink+ milk

so i've been feeling a little sick, and therefore tired, for a few days now. i got home from work and took a nap for a few hours. maybe four. it was the least restful nap ever. time passed in my dream like it did in real life, and i dreamt i was trying to reconcile our inventory with what we needed.. for four hours. i was stuck on about three items in the letter 'w' that would just not even out and i kept forgetting what i'd done. the ridiculous thing is, in my dream the inventory system was entirely different from the one we use! and the items? they totally don't really exist! trust me, they probably never will.

having this horrendously un-restful nap has totally reaffirmed my assertion that i need a vacation. time in which no one is depending on me and i don't have to touch a comic if i don't want to. no crisis to worry over or try to avert. like today? 357 short on Mighty Avengers, but it's okay! we got 351 extra Nova! 30-something of which were damaged and un-sellable! but that's totally fine.. being 21 short on Countdown to Mystery is also fine.. our distributor is too retarded to send the right stuff half the time, and sometimes we get things meant for comic shops in houston, or mexico (that happened today too!)

the sad thing is, even with all that crap today, my department kicked butt and we were done by 4:30. did anyone notice and say "good job, ya'll you rock, and hey Faythe even came in sick! go her!" no. they sure didn't. we got the same crap we always get. "man, sub never does anything" "gee, if ya'll were done by 4:30 today, why does it sometimes take you until 7? you should really step it up" "why do you all come in at 8 on wednesday and go home at 5? couldn't you just work from 9 to 6 like everyone else?" aaaaah! *pencil through the eye of the next offensive person* i'll tell you, you nosy pretentious jerkface if you can pull your head out of your butt long enough to listen to me! we do work! not the same things you do, but that's because we're not the same department, no matter what you think. we were done early today in spite of the egregious errors because we were fortunate enough to have a small volume this week comics-wise. on a week with twice as much volume, it's gonna take longer to get done! and we have to stay until it's finished, unlike you who can go home at 6 and pick it up again the next day. we come in early on wednesday because our setup process takes considerably longer than yours, but we still have to get our post done by four and our ups by five. and again, we don't have the luxury of saying "ah, one more day won't kill them" and finishing the next day.

this is directed not at any of you, but at a particular annoyance at work: having worked in your cesspool of a department, i can honestly tell you. i work hard. harder here in sub than i ever did in the mailroom, because more is expected of me here, and i respect my boss. i don't respect you because you mock and belittle and put others down constantly to make yourself feel better. it never occurred to you that maybe that's why you can't hold on to an employee? you're no better than a bully and those you keep around you are only there because they've looked for better and can't find it with their experience or attitude, or in a few cases, i'd even venture to say appearance. the only real exception would be james, who has really only lasted because he's such a strong person, and he's dealt with worse. do you honestly think that what you do is right? no one deserves to be treated like you treat people. and in case you didn't know, everyone knows you talk about them behind their back. or loudly when they're in the room to undermine their authority. everyone also knows you do it because you're insecure and want to make yourself look better. it doesn't work. you've hit the bottom. good luck ever finding genuine respect, because i've met your daughter, and you don't even get that from her, and i think that's sad.

sorry to everyone for venting like this, but that's what a blog is for, and if i actually tried to say any of this, i'd lose my job. xD i want a vacation, but i'd like a paid one, with the capacity to pay the bills.. and that's totally not the same thing as being fired. especially since my raise kicks in this week. next week my boss is on vacation and i'm supreme dictator of sub for a week. i'd rather just boss everyone around and not have the responsibility pinned on me. xD being a grownup sucks sometimes. on the upside, tiffany is totally awesome and has offered to come in and work half-days (on her days off) if i need her help getting things done. as i think she said, she's willing to be me while i'm jacinda for the week. although she would only be doing a fraction of my workload, it's greatly appreciated. having someone else going "gee.. so much to do!" has a greatly calming effect on me. it's nice not to be the only one freaking out. xD anyhow, i suppose i should try to go to bed again. try for some rem-cycle sleep. although if you're trying to achieve it, it's not all that restful now is it?