song+ Stutter- Maroon5- Hands All Over
book+ nothing presently
quest+ finishing this dress that is infuriating me
upper+ the depression i felt coming on has abated again
downer+ stupid Iple boobs are killing me! X.x
attire+ pajamas (i barely bother getting dressed anymore)
drink+ milk
i think i'm a little crazy. xD or a lot, i guess the judgement is up to ya'll.
i've come to a compromise of sorts with my insomnia. i no longer attempt to sleep at "normal" hours, i've been staying up and working until i'm tired, then sleeping until i'm not. it's not an ideal way of doing things, but i'm much less frustrated. xD that means that mostly now i stay awake until sometime between 9am and noon, then i sleep until 6 or 7 pm. Kyu's not thrilled, he wants me to have a "normal" schedule, but it hardly matters really, as long as stuff's getting done. i think it's mostly jealousy, he HATES getting up at 7/8 every morning to go to bill-paying work, then after that he goes straight to still-learning work and stays until about midnight, not falling asleep until around 2am most nights, only to repeat the next day. he's exhausted and irritable and taking it out on me a little and i'm trying to be comforting and understanding, but it's hard. just because i'm working from home (and at admittedly odd hours) doesn't mean i'm not working. *sigh* we're both looking forward to the time that he can quit the first job (which he's grown to hate) and be making money at the second (which he already loves). the best part of that is that tattooing is a job that'll encourage him to join me in the semi-nocturnal schedule to be able to spend time together. xD
the only other strange thing is that for quite a while now i've been craving sugar. like almost by itself.. X.x when i indulge it's not straight-sugar, because that's just gross, but it's been making me crazy for a while, like since right before new years, but after Christmas. i found myself very nearly putting maple syrup on scrambled eggs this morning, which actually sounds kinda (really) disgusting. i had a dream about buying homemade chocolate ship cookies in bulk from a warehouse store three nights (days technically) in a row. not like by-the-palette bulk, but big family-size packaging bulk. in the past two and a half weeks, i've had four candy canes (watermelon, mixed berry, cherry, and strawberry), two tubs of frosting (chocolate and vanilla/funfetti), a package of chewy chocolate chip cookies, a pint of ice cream (Ben&Jerry's Phish Food), three suckers (all butterscotch), two fun-size bags of M&Ms, a handful of double-stuff Oreos, most of a box of frozen waffles (with maple syrup), two orders of Taco Bueno's Cheesecake Chimichangas (in berry), and Sonic french toast sticks (again with syrup) with an M&M blast. plus three cans of root beer, and two fountain drinks (strawberry/root beer, and vanilla/dr pepper). all for the sugar content. it's kinda worrying me at this point, it seems much more terrifying all listed like that. it didn't seem anywhere near as indulgent as i was eating it. usually my sugar tolerance is WAY lower and i have trouble finishing a single-scoop ice cream cone, i'm eating like i'm another person lately.
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3 comments:
Re: the sugar. When I am getting adequate protein, and the right kind at the right time of day for my body, I barely want sugar. I don't know how similar our biochemistry is; after all, you only got half of your genes from me. If you tend toward Seasonal Affective Disorder, as [at least] one of your sisters and I do, this may be your body's way of trying to restore balance. But given your heritage of "sugar issues" from the other half of the gene pool, I think you're wise to be concerned. At the risk of sounding like the other parental unit, I would suggest asking your body what it wants. [In my experience, the answer is usually something gross like "more broccoli, please".]
My first thought was, oh crap are you pregnant?
Enough with all the crazy talk. I crave sugar almost constantly, but have tried to limit the size of the portions. you are doing good with the fun size bag of M&M and things like that. Mom is right, find out what you need for real and then enjoy the sweets (a little at a time) in addition to the healthy stuff.
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