song+ Rock Your Body- Black Eyed Peas
book+ the Stanislaski saga
quest+ getting more dolls sold soonish
upper+ been making progress on personal projects
downer+ there doesn't seem to be enough time in a given day..
attire+ pajamas
drink+ milk
Day Ten: One confession.
1.) i'm always afraid, of almost everything. it's really only pride that keeps me going in any situation. my biggest fear is failure (in any capacity) and there's SO much i could screw up now, but i want to make it work, so i suck it up and make the fear work for me, in as many ways as i can. when i'm happy, i'm afraid i'll screw it up. when i'm depressed i'm afraid i'll never feel better. when i'm doing what i love, i worry that i'm not really any good and the positive reviews are platitudes due to family obligation and i don't really deserve the praise. i'm afraid of things, or situations, of so much. the only things i'm not afraid of are pain and death. i don't go looking for either, but they're about the only things that i've never panicked over. even love terrifies me, i worry that i'll ruin it, or that i don't deserve it. it doesn't matter that i KNOW how absurd my fears are, i still feel them.
i'm afraid of living, but i keep on every day.
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1 comment:
Sharing that takes courage and taking each step is courageous too! Trsut me, you know me well enough to know that I don't just say nice things. So if I say that you are incredibly talented it is because it is an undeniable fact and nothing more!
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